Stranger Anxiety

hand2My wife and baby just arrived from Manila early this morning! I fetched them at the Dubai Airport late last night and we arrived in my flat around 2:30 am. This was a momentous event in our life as a family. The three of us are finally living together as one unit. In the Philippines, my wife and baby stayed in our parents’ house in Bulacan, although we have our own house in Antipolo. This was so that our families could help look after our baby, while both of us are working.

It was a great feeling to finally see them move around my flat – that I was not alone anymore. That I have a new reason to be home the soonest after work. That I have a new reason to spend my day offs at home.

There was just a small problem. My 11-month old baby cries uncontrollably whenever I try to carry him. He becomes so uncomfortable when I try to be near him. When he loses the sight of his mother, she starts to panic and cry. I very much wanted to look after our baby so my wife could rest after that very long trip, but our baby just won’t allow me. I think this is what they call stranger anxiety.

But what else should I expect? Suddenly, all the familiar faces he was seeing and familiar voices he was hearing were all gone. Now, he has to deal with living in a new environment – new house, new climate, new pieces of furniture, new bed to sleep in. He was in a stage of becoming familiar in his place in Bulacan, and all had to change at one time.

And here I was, trying to feel so close to him, when he have not seen me for some months. He could be saying to me “Who are you, by the way?”

I did not see my son for about three months only. And it took him only three months to forget that I am his father. What more if I don’t see him for a very long time? Will he be able to recognize me as his father? Will he be able to consider me as a father? I know he’s just a baby at this time and he does not have full memory retention as yet. But I just have this fear that I might lose his respect if I will always be nowhere to be found when he needs me.

I am glad my wife and son are with me now. I have the opportunity to make my baby know me more. I want him to grow knowing that he also has a father, aside from his mother, who will always be at his side.

I am sure that the stranger anxiety that he is feeling right now will be over very soon. I am with him now to help him overcome it.


13 Responses to “Stranger Anxiety”

  1. June 29, 2009 at 5:39 am

    wow… finally! congratulations on this new developments in your life! im so happy for you! God bless your family!


  2. June 30, 2009 at 12:01 am

    I am truly happy for you that finally your wife & Inigo is with you now in Dubai. Don’t worry Inigo will be fine and the stranger anxiety will be gone in a week time.


  3. 3 JEMSKI
    June 30, 2009 at 2:19 am

    Oh yeah, for sure… that stranger snxiety will disappear as soon as he feels so comforatble with you. It will happen because now, he will see you everyday. I’m so happy for your family.


  4. 4 leizl
    June 30, 2009 at 2:40 am

    Happy happy Birthday…. Po! i just read your post regarding your baby’s strange anxiety thing right now… i feel sorry for you dealing that behavior his showing right now, but just like what you said it’a good thing magkakasama na kayong tatlo, he will get use to you again… give him time to adapt again, and his new environment, new faces… it’s very hard for him too you know… at least with you, your more use to it na malayo tayo sa family before then will see them once a year after we have to live them again but we adapt in that kind of life… but with my inaanak it’s really a big change… i know it’s frustrating trying your best to get close to him, but he end up crying loud… just relax, take a deep breath!!! and take your time and his own time too… he has no choice naman na maging use sayo, kasi you have no money to send them back… ha! ha! ha! lol. i just want to cheer you up. my dear friend… anyways… enjoy everyminute you have him… extend my regards to my kumare ok…



  5. 5 digitalcatharsis
    June 30, 2009 at 2:55 am

    hi MARC, AIDISAN, JEMSKI and LEIZL: thanks for your very encouraging comments! God bless you guys!


  6. July 2, 2009 at 2:41 pm

    I’m happy for your family, finally your wife and your baby are already here with you.
    I’m sure by now Inigo is gradually getting used to his Dad.God Bless you and your family.


  7. 7 digitalcatharsis
    July 3, 2009 at 2:42 am

    Thanks Donnabelle!


  8. June 20, 2011 at 12:28 pm

    now alam ko very close na kayo..antagal nyo na rin na magkasama..11months pa lang si Inigo that time..now he is such a cutie na..


  9. June 23, 2011 at 4:49 pm

    ganyan din ang daughter ko with her dad when she was still a baby… but later on she get used to it dahil nakikita nya palagi 🙂


  10. June 23, 2011 at 10:29 pm

    Children are always like that. Most of the time they get really attached to their mommies. But I agree that children tend to forget easily when they don’t see you too much, and it’s good that Inigo grew up together with you. 🙂


  11. 12 kat
    June 27, 2011 at 2:19 pm

    syempre, di ka pa kasi nya nakikila kay umiiyak pag lumapit ka hehehe………buti naman di nahirapan si wifey sa biyaheng may dalang baby.


  12. 13 Federico Almas
    September 27, 2011 at 10:10 pm

    Good work, your articles are very interesting, i am glad that i googled your blog


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