I am going to be a father!!!

I was in my parents’ house in Bulacan Friday evening (Nov 16), waiting for my wife to come from
work. We have not seen each other since Wednesday morning and we were both excited, not just because we missed each other, but also because we wanted to
confirm something. She has missed her period.

She arrived half past eight, and she already bought a test kit on her way home. We read the packaging and to our dismay, it recommended to obtain a weewee sample early in the morning, when the concentration of Human Chorionic Gonadotropin (HCG) is highest in the urine. Ugh, I’m a nurse, and I should know that! I guess, when you are excited, you tend to forget a lot of things… And so we decided to postpone the  testing till the next morning.

For the last months, it was almost every day that we were asked by our friends and relatives as to whether she is already pregnant or not. Everybody was just expectant as much as we were. It was frustrating at times, especially if her period arrives. We would just hug and comfort each other reassuring ouselves that God has a definite time for that.

I wonder how we fell asleep that night. We kept on talking “what if” dialogues. We sensed that we were not alone together anymore. It’s a vague, but inescapable feeling that nothing will be the same. We suspected that a baby might be on the way! Although it was still unconfirmed, intuitively, we knew that it was true.

Just five months ago, Didith marched up the aisle to me, her beautiful face and brushed-up hair framed in bridal white. Up to this day, I still get the thrill of hearing “Mr. and Mrs. Nelson Bautista” and thinking of myself as her husband. I have adjusted to be being a married man. Now I feel I need to start adjusting being called a “daddy” and having a son or a daughter.

The following morning came and we were both excited to get up. We are usually sluggish in the  morning, finding it so difficult to get up and get ready to work, especially if we are in our Antipolo house. But that Saturday morning was different. Although I really needed to get up early for my work (I work on weekends), the reason to rise early was more inviting.

We both decided to do the testing in our bedroom. The bathroom is downstairs and my parents would catch us doing our thing there. We did not want them to get disappointed as well, if a negative result comes out, so we decided to do it more privately. I accompanied my wife to the bathroom door and gave her a small plastic cup so she could collect a sample of her morning weewee. We then went back to our
room.

After preparing the pregnancy test kit on top of our bed, we drew a sample of the urine using the pipette supplied in the package. We placed five drops on the small window at the lower part of the device.

In about 3 minutes, two distinct purple bands appear one after the other on the adjacent window of the device. The first band was a bit pale, and we got confused in a while. But after confirming with the packaging that the pale band still indicates a
positive result, we then concluded that our strong suspicion has been confirmed. My wife was indeed PREGNANT! It was a beautiful and intimate way to share the first certain knowledge that we were no longer simply ‘us’.

It was one of my happiest moment. But the crappy luck I have dealt with my whole life trained me to subconsciously suppress excitement for a yet to internalize the situation.
Seconds later, I felt happiness surround me. My wife was just as glad. The room  was filled with so much joy and love. We thanked the Lord for this great blessing of a new life.

After I dressed up for work, we went to my parents and announced the big news. They were ecstatic as ever! It’s their grandchild!

I went to work as expected. Everybody in the hospital noticed my very pleasant mood, as if a smiley was painted on my face. Who could blame me, I was in 7^th heaven. I was supposed to work 16 hours that day (8 hours in B.A. Hospital and 8 hours in Dr. Yanga’s Hospital), but I had to cut it short a bit to get home early. I just could not wait to be home and be with my family.

They say that marriage is a union of two souls. Literally, word for word, it is difficult to
understand. I found it hard to comprehend in the past. Immediately after marriage , I defined the union of two souls as the sharing of life, love and happiness. The union of souls is two separate souls becoming one in a balanced harmony. But now I believe that it is all of that and more. It is the creation of new life. A life that will possess a part of each of the two souls. A life that will be brought forth in the form of a child. I now know that a piece of my soul has been absorbed, combined, or intertwined with that of my wife’s. I now know that a piece of my soul has joined a piece of hers and created a new life to symbolize that union.

The day ended, but not my joy. I know that day was the beginning of some major changes in my life, but it will also be the start of a long, and happy journey ahead.

My Second Mother

Yes, I have a second mother. And no, she is not a stepmother.

 

I got to know her first as my English 1 teacher on my first year in college. Professor Jovita H. Orara was a very strict teacher. She was like a visiting professor from UP then. My classmates feared her because she would use her UP style of teaching in her classes. But later on, we found her very friendly especially outside the classroom. She was like everybody’s grandma.

 

After the first semester, she was appointed Dean of the College of Arts and Sciences. During that time, there was no CAS existing in our school, and that meant that she needed to start her office from scratch.

 

That time, my parents have told me that our finances cannot support my nursing studies anymore because of the expensive tuition fees in our school. I was told that I should transfer to Bulacan State University, and shift to another course, hence I will not be able to continue my college studies. During that time, tuition fees in BSU was very cheap (as compared today) and so affordable especially for less privileged students. I felt terrible then, because I really wanted to finish what I have started, and become a nurse.

 

Having regarded Professor Orara as a friend, I told her about my dilemma during class cards distribution. She was quick to suggest that I work in her office so that I will not have to pay my tuition fees, so that I could continue my nursing studies.

 

My parents did not object, and I promised to them that I will try my best to balance work and studies in order to graduate in time. They supported my decision and believed that I could pursue the goals I had set for myself.

 

During my stint as a student assistant for Dean Orara’s office, I came to know a lot of things that I still value up to this day. My tight schedules taught me how to value time. I would wake up very early in the morning to study, and prepare for my nursing internship in hospitals. After my hospital duty, I would rush to Dean’s office to do some errands, and some paper works. Later, I would be seen attending my classes until 7pm. I would also accompany Dean Orara home, a trip from Bocaue to Quezon City (where she lived), and back, on Mondays and Wednesdays. I would be home by 9 to 10 pm.

 

Ma’am O (I got used to calling her this way) also taught me how to become organized.  I absorbed her system in running her office. I made sure memos were signed by receiving persons, corrected even the smallest typographical errors, and made sure files were labeled and in order. I was made to manage a small library, which further improved my organizing skills.

 

I was made to deal with people more often. I was a timid person initially, but got over it after I dealt with different kinds of people as part of my work. I helped in the enrollment process where I got to deal with students. I assisted teachers with their work. I circulated memos. I was made to visit teachers in their respective towns. I was introduced to the UP community. I got to watch quality movies, stage plays, and ballet performances.

 

My values enriched as she taught me a lot of life lessons. She would tell me stories about her struggles in life and how I should get inspiration from hurdles and impediments. She trained me to become a strong person, enduring the sometimes harsh realities of life.

 

After graduating, I was then absorbed by the same office as an Office Assistant. Later on, I found a nursing job, and I found it difficult to leave the place. But even after leaving my office work, Ma’am O  and I never lost contact and she remained my mentor for life. Whenever I needed to make tight decisions, it was her that I would consult. She considered me as the son that she never had.

 

She would also call me if she needed some help. And I would always come running at her doorstep. We started a unique friendship. When I went to work abroad, we remained in touch through phones, letters and cards.

 

When I was about to get married, I found it difficult to tell her. I knew I would break her heart, as real mothers would. And break her heart, I did. She felt so sad when I announced my wedding. But I knew that was just an initial reaction. I knew that she was just worried if I was making the right decisions in life, just like any parent would think in that instant.

 

She does not usually attend weddings, unless it is her daughter’s, I know that. But she attended my wedding. Mine was an exception to the rule, ah!

 

Today is her 81st birthday (Nov 15). We celebrated her birthday in her office yesterday, together with her faculty members. I think this is my first time in five years to be in the country for her birthday, so I really made an effort to be present. I bought her a cake from Red Ribbon. She just sent me a text message this afternoon telling me that there has been a lot of food during the day, but yesterday’s cake was still the best, not because of the taste, but because it has full of love. Whew! So inspiring…

 

I owe a lot to Ma’am O and words cannot just measure how much her contribution is to my life. She made me become who I am today and she will be part of who I will be tomorrow. I will forever be grateful for having been blessed with a second mother.