Stranger Anxiety

My wife and baby just arrived from Manila early this morning! I fetched them at the Dubai Airport late last night and we arrived in my flat around 2:30 am. This was a momentous event in our life as a family. The three of us are finally living together as one unit. In the Philippines, my wife and baby stayed in our parents’ house in Bulacan, although we have our own house in Antipolo. This was so that our families could help look after our baby, while both of us are working.

It was a great feeling to finally see them move around my flat – that I was not alone anymore. That I have a new reason to be home the soonest after work. That I have a new reason to spend my day offs at home.

There was just a small problem. My 11-month old baby cries uncontrollably whenever I try to carry him. He becomes so uncomfortable when I try to be near him. When he loses the sight of his mother, she starts to panic and cry. I very much wanted to look after our baby so my wife could rest after that very long trip, but our baby just won’t allow me. I think this is what they call stranger anxiety.

But what else should I expect? Suddenly, all the familiar faces he was seeing and familiar voices he was hearing were all gone. Now, he has to deal with living in a new environment – new house, new climate, new pieces of furniture, new bed to sleep in. He was in a stage of becoming familiar in his place in Bulacan, and all had to change at one time.

And here I was, trying to feel so close to him, when he have not seen me for some months. He could be saying to me “Who are you, by the way?”

I did not see my son for about three months only. And it took him only three months to forget that I am his father. What more if I don’t see him for a very long time? Will he be able to recognize me as his father? Will he be able to consider me as a father? I know he’s just a baby at this time and he does not have full memory retention as yet. But I just have this fear that I might lose his respect if I will always be nowhere to be found when he needs me.

I am glad my wife and son are with me now. I have the opportunity to make my baby know me more. I want him to grow knowing that he also has a father, aside from his mother, who will always be at his side.

I am sure that the stranger anxiety that he is feeling right now will be over very soon. I am with him now to help him overcome it.

Looking Back (Our First Two Years)

On Being a Father

Being a father is something you just do as soon as the baby comes.

There’s no rehearsal.

I didn’t know how to become a father.

My father just lived his life

and let me watch him do it.

 

Happy Fathers Day, Tatay.

Iñigo Moves to WordPress

My son’s baby blog moves to WordPress! The new address is http://inigobautista.wordpress.com. A link going to the new site is added in the “Friends of the Blog” list of this page.

His previous domain, Friendster blog  allows only limited storage space and Iñigo’s blog has used almost 95% of the allocated space. Hence, this transfer to the blog’s new location.

I hope you continue reading his posts in its new new home. Please update your bookmarks! He will continue posting bulletins in friendster to keep his readers updated of new story postings.

Thanks!

Donkey in a Well

Another forwarded email that I repeatedly receive. Worth sharing. Thanks, Laura.

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One day a farmer’s donkey fell down into a well.
The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.
Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway;
it just wasn’t worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him.
They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.
At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly..
Then, to everyone’s amazement he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well.
He was astonished at what he saw.
With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing.
He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer’s neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal,
he would shake it off and take a step up.
Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up
over the edge of the well and happily trotted off! 

MORAL :
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt.
The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up.
Each of our troubles is a steppingstone.
We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up!
Shake it off and take a step up.

Illustrated Message

Sometimes, we understand a message when it is simply illustrated.

… and you question God “Why me?”

Always look at the bigger picture.

If we always thank God for all the blessings that we receive,

we should also thank Him for the stones that didn’t hit us.

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This is one of those forwarded messages that I keep on receiving in my inbox, but the impact remains the same each time I reread it. This one’s from Beth, a high school friend.

The High as a Nurse

My night shift started very busy. The call bells kept on buzzing. Patients kept on calling. I was assigned to hold the controlled drugs cabinet key, and I noticed that there has been lots of pain medications given to the patients in the unit. Well, that’s the reality of being on a surgical floor. Post op patients require lots of analgesia to control pain.

But what if the pain would just not let go – because the pain was not only physical – but also emotional? This is the case for most of my terminally-ill patients. I admit, the pain that comes from knowing that your time is almost over is the most difficult pain to deal with.

Early this morning, I woke up John (not his real name) so I could start giving him a wash. It was a big day for him today. He’s taking a 9-hour flight today to come back to his home country. He’s a colon cancer patient and the doctors had given up on him. He’s had quite a number of surgeries and blood transfusions, and the doctors have decided that it would be better if he comes home to his country and be with his loved ones, while he is stronger.

I did a complete overhaul on him. I changed the NGT tape. I did a quick aseptic dressing of his abdominal wound and packed it with lots of gauze to prevent it from leaking during the flight. I washed his hair, and gave his body a quick scrub. I attached two new empty drainage bags for his jejunostomy and nasogastric tubes so people wont start avoiding him in the airport when they see him with drain-filled bags. I removed the hospital gown and made him wear a long-sleeved shirt and black pants. I wanted him to look like just one of the normal passengers in the airport.

As I was doing all of these, I kept on conversing with him. He was genuinely happy when I told him that the old dressing I removed in his abdomen was quite dry. It was a good news for him because that abdominal wound kept on oozing with yellowish fluid for weeks now. “Haay thanks, Lord” was his touching reply. I knew he was still clinging to his last hope. That miracles still do come true.

I told him that I wanted to go with him so I could see my family too, that I would hide inside one of his luggages. He just laughed, and his sincere smile was enduring. I felt his happiness knowing that he’ll be with his family very soon. But I also realized that coming home this way – to see his loved ones for the last days of his life – was never a good reason to fly home. I could also feel the pain he was hiding.

Finally, I gave him enough pain medications-  a shot of morphine and  a fentanyl patch on the chest – to keep him comfortable during the trip. That may not be enough to relieve emotional pain, but I knew it’s going to help a lot.

He left the hospital with his wife and son, even before my shift ended at 7am. The wife texted me on their way to the airport to extend her thanks. She apologized for not being able to help me prepare her husband for the trip, but I told him it was just fine since I understood that she was also busy packing things up.

I was already having breakfast at home when I got the phone call from the wife that they have boarded the plane. She sincerely thanked me for taking care of his husband for the last weeks. She invited me to visit them in their place, when I go for vacation next time. Nurses really do get a high, when they get appreciation and acknowledgment from their patients and their families. And I am not an exception.

Today, I celebrate my first year working in this oil-rich country. One year ago on this exact day, I came here seeking for better financial opportunities. A year after, I am here reaping, not only the monetary value of my work, but moreso, the opportunity to be of help to those who really need it. Because of my work, I have a deeper appreciation of life, and that gives me all the more, the strength and wisdom to continue struggling against the sometimes harsh realities of life.

Thanks, John, for giving me a great way to cap the year.

 

(picture credits: procorbis.com, helpinghands-seniorservices.com, oldtibet.com)

Unconditional Acceptance

I have read this story many times but the message still pierces my heart everytime I read it. I received this again in my email today and I felt this is really worth sharing.

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Breakfast at McDonalds

 

I am a mother of three (ages 14, 12, 3) and have recently completed my college degree.

The last class I had to take was Sociology.

The teacher was absolutely inspiring with the qualities that I wish every human being had been graced with.

Her last project of the term was called, ‘Smile.’

The class was asked to go out and smile at three people and document their reactions.

I am a very friendly person and always smile at everyone and say hello anyway. So, I thought this would be a piece of cake, literally.

Soon after we were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son, and I went out to McDonald’s one crisp March morning.

It was just our way of sharing special playtime with our son.

We were standing in line, waiting to be served, when all of a sudden everyone around us began to back away, and then even my husband did.

I did not move an inch… an overwhelming feeling of panic welled up inside of me as I turned to see why they had moved.

As I turned around I smelled a horrible ‘dirty body’ smell, and there standing behind me were two poor homeless men.

As I looked down at the short gentleman, close to me, he was ’smiling’

His beautiful sky blue eyes were full of God’s Light as he searched for acceptance.

He said, ‘Good day’ as he counted the few coins he had been clutching.

The second man fumbled with his hands as he stood behind his friend. I realized the second man was mentally challenged and the blue-eyed gentleman was his salvation.
I held my tears as I stood there with them.

The young lady at the counter asked him what they wanted.

He said, ‘Coffee is all Miss’ because that was all they could afford. (If they wanted to sit in the restaurant and warm up, they had to buy something. He just wanted to be warm).

Then I really felt it – the compulsion was so great I almost reached out and embraced the little man with the blue eyes.

That is when I noticed all eyes in the restaurant were set on me, judging my every action.

I smiled and asked the young lady behind the counter to give me two more breakfast meals on a separate tray.

I then walked around the corner to the table that the men had chosen as a resting spot. I put the tray on the table and laid my hand on the blue-eyed gentleman’s cold hand.

He looked up at me, with tears in his eyes, and said, ‘Thank you.’

I leaned over, began to pat his hand and said, ‘I did not do this for you. God is here working through me to give you hope.’

I started to cry as I walked away to join my husband and son. When I sat down my husband smiled at me and said, ‘That is why God gave you to me, Honey, to give me hope..’

We held hands for a moment and at that time, we knew that only because of the Grace that we had been given were we able to give.

We are not church goers, but we are believers.

That day showed me the pure Light of God’s sweet love.

I returned to college, on the last evening of class, with this story in hand.

I turned in ‘my project’ and the instructor read it.

Then she looked up at me and said, ‘Can I share this?’

I slowly nodded as she got the attention of the class.

She began to read and that is when I knew that we as human beings and being part of God share this need to heal people and to be healed.

In my own way I had touched the people at McDonald’s, my son,the instructor, and every soul that shared the classroom on the last night I spent as a college student.

I graduated with one of the biggest lessons I would ever learn:

UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE.

Much love and compassion is sent to each and every person who may read this and learn how to

LOVE PEOPLE AND USE THINGS -
NOT LOVE THINGS AND USE PEOPLE. 

 

Iñigo’s 9th-month Photoshoot

(click image to enlarge)

A Tribute to a Mother

My dearest Honey,

I may never be on this special occassion – your first mother’s day with a son in your arms. How I wish I am there to greet you personally! But the distance between us can never get on the way to extend my deepest thoughts.

I will never know how difficult it is to take the multiple roles that you have right now – having a full-time job, being a wife to me and still taking care of our baby Inigo. It amazes me how you get all the energy to complete all your daily tasks.  But I want you to know that all of these don’t go unnoticed.

You resigned from your job recently and decided to come and live with me here by next month. You sacrificed your career to become a full-time mom and home maker. What else can I ask for? You are the best thing that ever happened to me.

You are like the best poetry ever composed, the best song ever played, the best picture ever painted. I never thought that someone like me could get so lucky!

I love you more than my life, more than my world. I love you more and more each day and that is the most wonderful feeling any man can ever hope to experience.

Happy Mother’s Day on May 10.

Forever yours,

Nelson